Your Betrayal Trauma Is Valid - Your Pain Matters And So Does Your Healing And Recovery.
There are so many ways in which our experience with infidelity trauma is invalidated.
While grief and emotional pain are a very normal part of the recovery process after infidelity, sometimes things can take a turn for the worst and we can start to slip into depression - possibility becoming suicidal.
Infidelity is a serious relationship injury and it isn't unusual for suicidal thoughts to occur - even though we may have no intention of actually following through on these thoughts.
One of the key ways to identify whether you are slipping into depression is to notice what you say about yourself. Specifically, it is important to notice if your self-talk tends to focus on how defective and unworthy you are.
Negative self-talk can provide a clue that you are spiraling into depression.
Here is the problem she currently faces in her marriage:
"I've caught him flirting with more than one woman on text messages, each time he says he does not know what got into him and it will not happen again.
Recently I caught him flirting, with more texts that are too sexual, and it seems as if he slept with them.
The problem is, he doesn't want to talk about it . . . I really want to hear from him why he did it, and what exactly happened.
Am I asking for too much?
Healing conversations which are safe for both of you are critical to the success of your personal recovery and your marriage.
I explore how to make calm, respectful requests of your spouse, being careful to avoid angry outbursts, threats, or simply "venting" your feelings.
There are a few reasons why you may find yourself feeling this way:
He may be blaming you in subtle, or not so subtle ways in order to escape taking responsibility for what he has done. That is on him.
Our spouse's unfaithfulness is a major source of rejection and abandonment. This often triggers feelings of not being good enough.
The truth is, the reasons for choosing infidelity are many.
Each of those reasons points back to him every time.
He alone, took the steps to break his commitment to you. There were other choices he could have made - but he chose infidelity.
This is a question I was recently asked via email, and it's one I've been asked many times before.
I decided it would be best to answer this question on the blog because you may be trying to figure that out too.
After all, you have given years of your heart and life to this marriage. And for that reason, it deserves serious, thoughtful consideration.
Ending a marriage is a really difficult decision to make - even after infidelity.
I do think underlying the question, "How do I know whether to end my marriage, or try to make it work?" is another question:
In this article, we'll look at what needs to happen in order to tip the odds of infidelity recovery success in your favor . . .
Knowing about the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and how to cope with them personally, and in your marriage is so important.
In fact, it is just as important to know about PSTD as it is to know about the symptoms of infidelity grief because you are more than likely experiencing the symptoms of both.
It's really no wonder that it takes so much time and effort to fully recover after discovering infidelity in your relationship . . .