The days and months following infidelity discovery in your relationship are some of the hardest you will go through in your lifetime.
It is a complete and total jolt to your whole body.
The sick feeling in your stomach.
The tension in your neck.
The inability to eat.
The sleepless nights.
The lack of concentration.
The sadness that comes from really deep in your heart.
And so much more.
It's all really, really hard to deal with isn't it?
I know. It's overwhelming and I'm sure you just want it to all STOP!
I remember the days and nights, laying on the floor - balled up in pain, sobbing until my eyes were swollen and I had no more tears left to cry.
This happened over and over again.
The problem is, each time I went through that, I built a stronger callous around my heart.
In the end, I ended up with an extremely high tolerance for emotional pain.
After every single broken moment - after every new infidelity discovery - I went on the next day as if nothing happened.
Time to move on.
Time to move forward.
Time to grab on to hope that things will change - one more time.
I've got this! I can do it.
If you know anything about me, you know I don't recommend doing what I did for so many years. What I did is not a good strategy for dealing with abuse and infidelity.
It was something I learned to do growing up.
It was REQUIRED that I act as if nothing happened after abuse in our home.
That became a hard survival strategy for me to break in adulthood.
But once I finally did, everything in my life completely changed.
I wholeheartedly believe the answer after infidelity is to honor our truth, take excellent care of our self, and embrace conscious healing and recovery.
And sometimes we have to drop the survival strategies we learned growing up that no longer serve us.
As you move along the path of recovery, you are going to have some bad days.
Grief is a big part of infidelity recovery and it hurts.
I created a list of 38 things you can do to take extra good care of yourself as you are working your way through infidelity grief recovery.
You deserve to treat yourself with amazing self-care.
I hope these ideas help!
- Get a manicure.
- Light some candles.
- Ride a bike.
- Buy yourself some flowers.
- Do a craft project.
- Do an exercise video.
- Read the Bible.
- Practice daily affirmations.
- Drink a cup of tea.
- Do a puzzle.
- Call a counselor.
- Clean out a closet.
- Create a scrapbook.
- Paint a room.
- Go thrift shopping.
- Go to the movies.
- Go to a bookstore.
- Go to a coffee shop.
- Play Solitaire.
- Go for a scenic drive.
- Color in an adult coloring book.
- Take a bubble bath.
- Identify and process your feelings in a journal.
- Go for a walk in nature.
- Pay close attention to any negative self-talk. Replace it with positive words of encouragement.
- Listen to uplifting music you love.
- Call a friend.
- Do yoga, or learn how on YouTube.
- Get 20 minutes of natural sunlight.
- Take a nap.
- Watch an upbeat movie on Netflix.
- Read a book.
- Do some gardening.
- Name 5 things you are truly grateful for.
- Create a vision board with pictures of the future you want.