I hope you are beginning to heal after finding out about infidelity in your marriage.
If not, I have every confidence you will get there - even though it may feel hopeless sometimes.
You can be assured in your future:
Your heart will heal.
Your life will heal.
This chapter in your life will end so a new chapter can begin.
That's just how things work in life.
Thank goodness right?
You will successfully renew your relationship, or move forward into a new life without him.
And yes, there are many painful losses to deal with along the way.
No matter which way things go for you, I know it can be a tough, long road to recovery.
You are going to need support, as well as ways to process all the feelings you have about what's happening.
Today I want to talk to you about 3 big benefits regularly writing in a journal can have after discovering infidelity.
No matter how your relationship turns out, you will still have many emotional challenges to deal with.
Recovery journaling can be an effective way to help you sort things out in your heart, mind, and life.
So now let's take a look at 3 big benefits of using a journal to heal your heart after infidelity:
1 | One of the biggest benefits of using a journal after infidelity is having a private place to explore and release all your true, uncensored feelings.
Journaling is an authentic way to be true to yourself. It allows you to be real with what's happening in your heart and life.
Journaling will help prevent you from bottling up all your feelings and getting stuck in parts of your recovery.
Our feelings have a way of coming out no matter how much we may try to ignore them anyway.
Usually, after bottling our feelings up, they tend to come out in a very big way, causing a complete emotional melt-down.
In addition, did you know that, (according to Dr. James Pennebaker who has studied expressive writing extensively,) not dealing with our feelings has a big impact on our level of depression, stress, and physical illness?
In fact, holding on to secrets and traumatic events - such as our partner's infidelity - actually affects our immune system in a negative way.
According to Susan Brunton Derozier:
"When we hold secrets, shame, and hurt inside, the emotions that accompany them cannot be expressed and take a serious toll on us physically."
From the book: "Therapeutic Journaling: A Road To Healing".
There is one very important point to keep in mind: When you first begin journaling you are likely to feel quite sad during, and afterwards.
This is because you are releasing some of your most painful feelings at the beginning of the journal process.
As Pennebaker notes in his book, "Expressive Writing: Words That Heal":
"Immediately after writing about traumatic topics, people often feel worse - sad, even weepy. These effects are generally short-term and last an hour or two."
For this reason, it's important to give yourself plenty of time after each journaling session to recover from the sadness you feel.
And remember: journaling will get easier the more you do it!
2 | Another benefit of journaling after infidelity is being able to figure out what you want in your future and what steps you will need to take to get there.
Journaling is a great way to explore different options; the pros and cons of doing something or not doing something; setting personal and relationship goals; and so much more.
When we go through something as difficult and painful as infidelity, it can be quite overwhelming.
Being able to sort through our feelings to find the steps we want to take regarding our life and relationship brings order to the chaos in our heart and mind.
3 | And finally, journaling allows you to learn more about yourself so you can grow from what happened.
Journaling helps bring thoughts and feelings that are just below the surface to the forefront so you can deal with them.
We all have sub-conscious stories we tell ourselves.
Journaling helps bring these stories to the forefront so you can explore them and discover things about yourself and your situation that you didn't know.
Every traumatic experience has the potential to help us grow as individuals.
Whether that happens or not, depends on whether you take the steps to express what's going on inside of you.
Until next time . . .
Hope and Healing,